Tom’s sister needed to get something off her chest and ‘out there’ into the world, yet not waste her time contacting the person that needed to read it. So, I’m posting it here for her, knowing full well that the person that it is meant for can find it if he so chooses.
He probably won’t. It seems that he doesn’t want to involve himself in this situation. Whatever. I do wonder that when the test do come back stating that he is 100% positively the donor (because we don’t just toss around the word ‘Father’ around here) if he is going to feel like the ass he is.
Anyway, I’ve said too much already… Tom’s sister’s letter is below the fold.
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN
REGARDING: ASHLYN
It’s funny how you drone on and on about your lack of a love life and how everyone has treated you like shit. How your last relationship was so miserable. Yet in that relationship you made plans of a future. Shared dreams. Spent countless nights in bed, snuggling and truly enjoying the company of the one you said you loved. Then, upon finding out that you were to be a father, you bailed. On everything.
Time line:
May – found out you could be a father. Not happy about it but learning to accept it.
June 3 – Having very sexual flirting relations with some one that is NOT the mother of your child or your fiance. Fiance finds out and leaves…upset.
June 15 – Send flowers to said mother of your child and fiance for her birthday. Spend a couple of hours on the phone just talking and enjoying each other again. Saying I love you…and making her think you meant it.
June 16th – Decide that you now believe that said mother of child and fiance are sleeping with your cousin (who also denied this..and whos wife if fiance’s BEST friend). Have nothing else to do with mother of child/fiance….now going hot and heavy for a skank that has two other men on the side and YOU think YOU stand a chance.
You go on to ingore the fact that you may have a daughter. Upon the birth of your daughter you care more about partying and hooking up with said skank. You beg to see “her” and HER daughter (not your own mind you..who you have yet to see)…and never ask a single question about your own flesh and blood.
When the mother of your daughter contacts you…you are cordial but distant. Never asking anything other than about possible financial issues. You don’t even know the first thing about your own daughter. And you don’t seem to care.
Why does all this bother me? Because you post that you are going to find out if you are a father or not. Well…you are NOT a father. A father is there for the birth of their child. A father asks about the health of their daughter. A father seeks to be a part of his daughters life. A father makes attempts to put the past behind him to make the best life for his daughter. A father puts his daughter first. A father knows that a daughter is alot of responsibility and that she deserves all the love in the world. A father KNOWS he’s no longer NUMBER ONE!! A FATHER LOVES HIS DAUGHTER NO MATTER WHAT!!
Don’t call yourself a father. You have made no attempts to see her…you don’t ask for pictures. You are not a father. You don’t count her in your “responsibilities” and that….THAT makes me sick!
Trish
Friday, 19. October 2007
Well said baby girl, well said.
Friday, 19. October 2007
I ‘was’ your daughter (well, not really, but you get what I’m saying). My father was not in my life. I do refer to him as my father, but I refer to my REAL dad as my dad.
My dad is the one who married my mom when I was five, later adopted me, and was the best dad in the world. I can’t possibly imagine not having him as my dad.
I’ve reunited with my father’s family after a very long search (out of curiosity) two years ago. My father committed suicide about 10 years ago, so I never met him. From everything I’ve learned, I know that the best thing happened for me. The fact that my father was not in my life gave room for my dad to be 100% my dad. No sharing.
Frankly, I’m thankful it turned out that way. Sounds like your daughter might be lucky enough to not have her father (based on what I’ve read here…) in her life and hopefully will be lucky enough to have a dad.
Hugs…
Saturday, 20. October 2007
Thanks to both of you. You are exactly right Risiblegirl…she would be very lucky to never meet him. I’m going to do all I can to protect her from that. He is a drug abusing, self-centered man and I can’t believe I wasted 7 years of my life with him. I will not waste one more minute of it on him now though. I will not let my daughter be subject to any of his abuse. He is a complete waste of oxygen on this Earth. He IS out of my life…and hers….forever!