Tom and I were staring at our bank account the other day, wondering how to slide through until the beginning of the next month.

Like a lot of you out there, we’re definitely a paycheck to paycheck household. Sometimes we don’t quite make it from one check to the next, but we always survive.

This last time, though, Tom softly suggested, “Well, maybe I should sell my guitar.”

When he said that, I felt my heart drop.

Tom has three guitars, actually.

One he’s had for as long as I’ve been alive, literally. Its his 6 string acoustic that has been through every step of his life with him. His dad made a beautiful wooden case not too long ago so Betsy (his guitar) can proudly be displayed.

Another is a 12 string electric / acoustic. I bought Tom this one for Christmas a couple years before the accident. I think Tom pretty much freaked out when I gave it to him… and, if I do say so myself, it was a pretty awesome gift.

The third guitar is a black 6 string electric / acoustic that Tom bought himself shortly after he and I moved in together. Since he bought this one himself, he feels it is the most ‘disposable’ of the three.

“We could use the money, Sheila,” he said to me.

I shook my head no. “We’ll make it just fine till next payday. Don’t worry about it.”

“But, I can’t play it anymore. Its just taking up space.”

After a couple more exchanges similar to the ones above, I finally said, “I’m just not ready to do that.”

I can’t imagine selling Tom’s guitars. Ever, really. I know that they’re taking space. I know that he won’t be able to play them again. But, they’re memories – tangible, touchable memories. I can’t imagine just selling them to some stranger or something like that… Who knows how they would treat them!

I know this may not be completely logical to some people.

I mean, I understand its only a guitar.

But, its Tom’s guitar.

And, its meant to be Tom’s guitar.

And, I’m not ready to be done with it yet.

Needless to say, I ended that discussion promptly.

The guitar will not be sold yet.

Because I’m not ready.

I think Tom is actually relieved that I’m not ready.

I could tell he wasn’t really ready either.